When to baptize and who?

Baptism is a good thing. It is in fact the greatest thing. But, as with everything, along with the benefits you also have responsibilities. If I give my daughter a pony, she is immediately happy to have him. She names him, she pets him, she wants to go on a ride. She is less enamored with the idea when it comes time to muck his stall, feed him in the morning and evening, get back on when she's knocked off, or take riding lessons in the rain. I, as a parent, would not have bought the pony if I didn't believe she'd ever care for him or enjoy his company. But such is owning an animal that you own the delights and the obligations.

In the same way Christ was clear, in speaking of the life of the Christian, that he is obliged to keep His commandments. In fact, it is a visible sign of our love for Him. A child raised completely ignorant of what those promises made at his baptism were is thus imperiled. Imagine a young Congolese boy who has no understanding of English nor of American sports being teleported across the globe without pads into a game in the NFL. How would he fare? Poorly and painfully we might expect. In the same way, when we baptize children who have parents and family with no church participation, with godparents chosen for familiarity over piety, and a situation where all concerned are not only ignorant of the Christian way but are often hostile to it, we are transporting him into that football game and should expect the bruising ramifications of our actions.

I am reminded of a baptism I did where after having a discussion with the parents about godparents and their role that I received confirmation of their ability to be sponsors and their desire to be such. Imagine my chagrin when it was time to recite the creed and neither one seemed to have ever hear it before and one of them pronounced Pontius Pilate (ˈpɒnʃəs pɪˈlɑːtiːz) so that one might assume the governor was a devotee of Contrology exercise routines.

The question many have is: "Is it better to baptize a child of a non-Orthodox background as if he were going to be in an Orthodox family because baptisms are good and there's a chance he might one day find his way to the church?"

If we immerse a child in the waters of Jordan and then know he will immediately jump out of those waters (or more precisely be cast out by the circumstances of his heterodox environment), have we thrown a fish out of water a la Nemo and just hoped he'll find his way back? We have all seen a fish struggling to breathe in a boar or pier. We have all probably taken a goldfish home when we were children. Did any of us just let the fish die because we had no plan to put it in a fishbowl, to feed it, or keep it away from the family cat?

Optimally, a baptism is an opportunity for the parents, godparents, et al. to be called to account for their behavior. It's a chance for them to reflect on THEIR baptismal promise and find conversion. In fact, I think for proponents of these irregular baptisms, that is what they imagine will happen. Sadly, it often has the opposite effect.

Imagine two friends go off to college. One friend works hard, studies incessantly, and comes out of the experience in some debt, but equipped for her next phase in life. Her friend picks one of those novel majors akin to underwater basket weaving and walks across the stage having spent more time in fraternity houses than classrooms. For her college was "stupid," her friend "wasted her time" in school not partying enough, and she is looking for ways to continue her profligate lifestyle into her twenties and beyond. Who values college more? Who will recommend it more? Who will be a better example of what college can do for a young person?

So, if we transfer that dichotomy to a church setting we find a similar divide. One family attends church regularly, prays as a family, and celebrates the feasts as a family. The other does none of those things. Both of them attend a baptism. The former considers the event to be one of the high points of their lives. The latter asks for the third time "how long is this thing again." The family who elevates God in their lives elevates the sacrament as a means of connection to God and His grace. The other finds the event silly and wonders if this is going to hold up brunch so that they'll miss the limitless mimosas deal they have going on at the reception restaurant. One comes out finding even more heavenly treasure from the Body of Christ and the other wonders why there's no free wifi. 

The American Church has no idea what to do here. Jurisdiction to jurisdiction, parish to parish, we take each situation as a unique one and act in contradictory ways just miles apart from one another. And without an official approach we struggle to reinvent the wheel daily. It doesn't have to be that way and yet it is.  I wonder if the answer will come from far distant patriarchates or from our own hierarchs. I suspect things will percolate for years until we fumble into a rough consensus on the matter.

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(Orthochristian) - The children of gay couples should be baptized when they’re older and have expressed a desire to receive the Sacrament, believes the Archbishop of Athens.

The issue has been a hot topic in the Orthodox world since Archbishop Elpidophoros of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America baptized the children of a celebrity gay couple in the summer of 2022. One of the men praised the Archbishop for serving what he called “the first openly gay baptism in the Greek Orthodox Church,” though it became a scandal in Greece where the Baptism was celebrated. The Greek Synod even sent letters of protest to Abp. Elpidophoros and Pat. Bartholomew.

The issue resurfaced earlier this month when the abbots and representatives of the 20 monasteries of Mt. Athos expressed their concern about the public spectacle surrounding the Baptism that gave the impression that the Church approves of gay marriage. They also unanimously voted not to accord Abp. Elpidophoros the typical hierarchical greeting in Karyes during his recent visit to Mt. Athos.

Following his pilgrimage, Abp. Elpidophoros visited Archbishop Ieronymos of Athens yesterday. Answering a journalist’s question about the Baptism of children of gay couples, the Greek primate said it should be delayed, reports Romfea:

We must return again to tradition. If Baptism takes place at an early age for children, it’s because the Church had the sense that the child would grow up in an environment of Christian principles. Therefore, no catechism was needed, because it was done within his environment. Now that things are changing, we’re not against children. We love children and care more about them than anyone else. The Church will wait for these children to reach a certain age and when they grow up and wish to be baptized, they will be baptized.

Responding to the same question, Abp. Elpidophoros said: “I have nothing to add—His Beatitude said it all.”

Another Greek hierarch, Metropolitan Chrysostomos of Messinia, was quick to point out that this is the personal opinion of Abp. Ieronymos, as the Greek Church has yet to formulate its view:

The proposal of Abp. Ieronymos of Athens regarding the non-Baptism of infants adopted by same-sex couples is his personal opinion, which does not reflect the position of the Hierarchy of the Church of Greece, which is awaiting the recommendation of the Synodal Committee on Canonical and Dogmatic Issues, as decided in the meeting of January 23, 2024.

“The Archbishop of America’s agreement on the issue is contradicted by his actual action of baptizing infants adopted by a same-sex couple in Glyfada,” Met. Chrysostomos added.

It would be a peculiar canonical penalty against the children to not baptize them because of the sins of their parents, the Metropolitan argued.