Last night the family participated in the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete. As a family we have been doing the version written to fit into the space of forty days of prayer. If you are unfamiliar with the Canon it takes many hours to complete and is filled with prostrations (bowing to the ground) in answer to about 250 verses as well as the inclusion of the story of St. Mary of Egypt as it is the 5th week of our Lent. It's written so that you experience each Biblical subject in a personal way. Said a better way: You pray as Moses, as those who turned from Christ, and others in a way that makes the penitential act very personal. Did I say it was very long? It is. We steadily lost children to the horizontal position known as sleep as the hours (yes, hours) passed. Afterwards I thought it might be meritorious to list some alternate uses for the Great Canon.
- Is your forehead overly pronounced or irregularly shaped? I suggest pressing your head against the ground hundreds of time might be a solution.
- Forget your workout and don't want to miss a daily service? Problem solved.
- Kids say Evening Prayers are too long? Kiddo, you want to see long... expect not to hear that again for a while.
- Battling with overeating late in the day? Have your significant other drop you off and pick you up when the service is complete. You'll be too tired to do move much less repetitiously push food into your mouth.
- Child that has problem saying "I'm sorry."? Tell them the service is held every week and they can go to church next week if they continue arguing with siblings, parents, or [insert authority figure here] and refuse to apologize afterwards.
- More come to mind... feel free to comment with others.
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