Onion Dome: Iconographer has new plan for fundraising

The always funny Onion Dome...

CLEVELAND – Iconographer Ilya Kuriakin, working in St. Vladislav Parish here, has pitched a fundraising technique to the parish council that might just revolutionize the prevalence and practice of iconography across the United States.

Inspired by the 1966 Tarkovsky classic film, Andrei Rublev, Kuriakin – who is working on a fresco of the Last Judgment – is offering parishioners and others a chance to memorialize the noted and notorious in its figures.

St. Vladislav Parish is paying Kuriakin just over $20,000 for the two-year project involving a 12-foot by 20-foot wall and hundreds of figures. The iconographer has also had to work around an awkwardly placed “EXIT” sign, which Theophane the Greek never had to deal with, he says.

When Kuriakin expressed concern to the parish council about making rent payments, members gave their blessing for the iconographer to bring in additional funding.

“It’s not much different from selling brass plaques on pews,” said Dean (St. Dimitri the Many-I’d) Brunhoffer, parish council president, “and much less flagrant.”

Here’s the price list:

• Loved one among the righteous – $50
• Representation of disliked professional class among hell-bound sinners – $100
• Specific face among hell-bound sinners – $200
• Having specific face NOT included among hell-bound sinners – $500

Interest has been very lively for the various placements, and several people have already paid to have their least favorite legislator painted among the unrighteous. Kuriakin has also received photographs and $500 checks from several people inside and outside the parish who apparently think there’s a danger of appearing among the naughty rather than the nice.

“It seems to be going pretty well,” Kuriakin said. “And next summer, I might add another fund-raiser suggested by the film: balloon rides.”