I think the message from the blog post quoted below is especially important to parents. From the moment children are able to understand, I think most parents teach their children the Golden Rule. This maxim extends into every facet of a child's life so that he learns to think of the feelings of others in every action he does. As a result, we often fail to remember (and often impart to our children) that sometimes vocal refusal and even - dare I say it - being impolite is called for when the thing being fought over is a righteous one. I am reminded of the famous story from the Desert Fathers I've quote before (see here).
They say about Abba Agathon that some came to him, hearing that he had great discernment, and wanting to test whether he would become angry, they say to him, Are you Agathon? We hear about you that you are a fornicator, and a proud man. But he said, Indeed, a gossip and slanderer? And he said, I am he. They say further, Are you Agathon the heretic? And he answered, I am not a heretic. And they asked him, saying, Tell us why whatever we said to you, you also accepted, but this word you would not bear? He says to them, The first ones I ascribe to myself, for it is of benefit to my soul. But the heretic, that is a separation from God, and I do not wish to be separated from God. And they heard, amazed by his discernment, and went away strengthened.
The difference being when the offense is against you, bear it gladly. When the offense is against God, spare no effort in His defense. The martyr is a witness (μάρτυς) and we should all be so blessed as to be given an opportunity to make sacrifices for our faith.
“I am writing to all the Churches and I enjoin all, that I am dying willingly for God's sake, if only you do not prevent it. I beg you, do not do me an untimely kindness. Allow me to be eaten by the beasts, which are my way of reaching to God. I am God's wheat, and I am to be ground by the teeth of wild beasts, so that I may become the pure bread of Christ.”
- St. Ignatius of Antioch
That point should be clear to us and it should be clear to our children. The Faith is not a precious keepsake we keep in our chest of drawers and pull out when we want a warm feeling or solace in times of trouble. It is a light unto the nations never to be hidden (Isaiah 60).
1 Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee.
2 For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee.
3 And the Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of thy rising.
4 Lift up thine eyes round about, and see: all they gather themselves together, they come to thee: thy sons shall come from far, and thy daughters shall be nursed at thy side.
5 Then thou shalt see, and flow together, and thine heart shall fear, and be enlarged; because the abundance of the sea shall be converted unto thee, the forces of the Gentiles shall come unto thee.
From the blog Frontier Orthodoxy...
Often, in Orthodoxy, we encounter people who are overly scared of causing offense. Although this can be difficult to admit, there is a time for sidestepping the fear of offending and a time when refusing to cause offense is actually sinful. Yes, you read that right. Let me explain. Our default position should always be one of not causing offense and certainly not causing scandal. Yet, as the story of Anysia the Virgin reminds us, there are also times a little spittle in the face can be precisely what is needed:
Upon being taken by a soldier, who intended to lead her to a pagan temple, she spit in his face. There are times to cause offense. As Orthodox Christians, this is a lesson we ought to learn. The use of this lesson will be rare, but it is a lesson that can be utilized. If a clergyman has caused real, legitimate abuse and/or possible illegal activities, we should not worry about offending him.
To apply this to a contemporary discussion around Christmas time, if people wish to greet us with a generic phrase, I don’t think we need to be worried about offending them with “Merry Christmas.” Indeed, even “Happy Holidays” is really “Happy Holy-days,” and shouldn’t bother us. Speaking and standing for the truth will be offensive sometimes, but that is how it goes. So, if we give away money to the Salvation Army or an Orthodox parish or charity, at the expense of bigger gifts for others or more gifts and they are offended, so be it.
Now, we will not confront too many large evils in American Orthodoxy in any direct sort of way, but we will confront lots of little spiritual battles, akin to a couple I’ve just mentioned. The biggest battles we will face, of course, will be internal and there, we must most definitely respond directly to evil. See, not wanting to offend someone who has clearly committed evil is akin to excusing ourselves when reflecting on our own lives. We should be direct and honest with ourselves. We are now in the Christmas season, after all. Christ has shown that he is willing to descend even into the midst of manure in a way that is given meaning by the fact that he descended into Hell. God is quite honest about where we’ve gone. Can we be so direct? I would submit that if we will be, we will enjoy our Christmas and Theophany seasons all the more, for we will be clear eyed, with all the lumber removed.