Children and their numbers

As parent to a gaggle of small children I often get stares and comments from people whilst out of the house. Some people are very kind and rarely do we go to a restaurant without some elderly couple coming over to comment on our kids' good manners, "Oh, what a lovely family you have here!" Sometimes, of course we get less welcome attention. Somewhat surprisingly it's not snickers and backwards glances, but people who make offhanded comments to us directly, "Are these all yours?" "Are you a... you know... blended family?" "Don't you know where these things come from? [titter]"

Three ways to respond come immediately to mind. The first is to simply smile and say something pleasant and innocuous. The second is to respond with some witty, barbed retort. The third, to my consternation, is to respond apologetically.I have seen many parents slouch their shoulders a bit, glance downward, and respond with "Haha... they're certainly a handful!"

Child rearing is not an addiction. There's no reason to hide them or be embarrassed of their existence like some drug paraphernalia left out unintentionally.

Child rearing is not gluttony. I don't know anyone who chose to have children based on the more-more-more principle of fulfillment. Now some people might have lots of children in an attempt to fix some other problem (if you have seen Girl with a Pearl Earring you know what I mean.), but I would call that quite the aberration and not the rule.

Child rearing is not a hobby. Many couples do I know that consider children to be an adornment or symbol of their status. In their minds having a lot of children shows a gross lack of taste. "Why have so many?" - as if we were the 'cat couple' cleaning the deposits from litter boxes all day, smelling of cat urine and emptying our pockets of catnip before we throw our laundry into the wash.

Child rearing is not a disservice to the world. For as often as we have been called on these other misconceptions, we have also been labeled as the parental equivalent to radioactive waste dumpers. Our children are little, glow-in-the-dark organisms killing wild geese and wilting once happy plant life uncaringly. I plan to continue teaching my kids how to recycle, how to leave a campsite unmolested, etc. etc., but that's hardly the argument. The argument seems to be that my children are a danger to the world. Our population growth is a problem and we need to get with the program. As a Texan I often respond by saying that I'm fighting the numbers of illegal immigration one child at a time.

I look at my children and wonder which one(s) they want me to get rid of? The actions of past hours notwithstanding - for I shan't send a child to oblivion for spilling red Koolaid® on the rug or for putting an entire roll of toilet paper in the commode - I just can't come up with the criteria on whom to obliviate. How turned around a culture are we where we count children as a bother and a new car as precious, where we forget their likeness to God and replace it with their likeness to a door blocking the television, where we mistake a true legacy for how our friends or even strangers judge us.

I'm not despondent though. At church we are not even the largest family, and monthly another large family joins the parish. In my mind I see a flag once blown hard in one direction flickering back the other way. I can only hope it signals a change of direction.